So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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