There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
