I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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