I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
