He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
