So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
