think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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