fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
