You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize