Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
