you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
