Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
