I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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