Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
