I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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