He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
