She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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