If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
