Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
