The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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