I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
