Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
