then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You are the jesus of drinking
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
