I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
