What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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