____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
