my vag is so smooth its legendary
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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