she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
