loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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