I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we're so committed to being not committed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
