The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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