Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
