There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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