were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
