Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
