if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize