oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
