i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I CAN MOONWALK!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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