Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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