College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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