apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
