He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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