Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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