I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
