Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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