I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize