i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize