just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
