Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
