Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
