3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
