Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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