so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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