i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
