I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Drunk is not a location!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Never joke about your clitoris.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
