Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
