I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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