I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
