Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
