i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
