Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
