Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
