I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
