The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Even my vagina gasped.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
