you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
