I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
