yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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