They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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