Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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