The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
