we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
