The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
