apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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